


there is love in your body but you can't hold it in

by forcynics



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: F/F, brief amberle/wil, post-season one finale, references to eretria/wil, spoilers for season one finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6174547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forcynics/pseuds/forcynics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is an elf and a princess and everything they teach you to hate in the world. </p><p>(ten moments between hate and love)</p>
            </blockquote>





	there is love in your body but you can't hold it in

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: I hate everything about you so why do I love you
> 
> written for the [wlw positivity commentathon](http://femslashbb.livejournal.com/12935.html)

 

 

 

1.

You are a child. 

You are a rover girl sold and bought and mistreated, trained to rob and kill and protect your own, even when they don't protect you.

She is an elf and a princess and everything they teach you to hate in the world.

 

 

2.

Your first meeting is with your dagger inches away from her head and threats snarled in the dark. 

She’s wearing an arm band with the royal seal, like she doesn’t even know how many people out here would kill her just for that. She’s probably never left the walls of precious Arborlon before tonight.

Your first meeting ends with her knife at your throat, and her disappearing into the darkness, a soft, pretty, useless princess who still managed to get away from you.

You don’t know her but you already hate her, for everything that she is, a million things you could never be. Maybe she impressed you, maybe a little bit, but you doubt you’ll ever see her again. 

She’ll get herself killed out here soon enough.

 

 

3.

Her name is Princess Amberle Elessedil and Cephalo wants you to kill her.

You could, easily. She is soft and useless and tied up and you’re the one holding the knife.

You slash her bonds instead. If you’re going to kill her, it won’t be on Cephalo’s orders, you tell her, tell yourself.

She tries to make her own escape, tries to bargain for the half-elf boy’s freedom too, and it makes you wish you’d just slit her throat when you had the chance. You thought she might be smart enough to last a little longer out here, but maybe you were wrong.

And then there’s the demon.

A monster you never believed in interrupts the scene, shrieks and snarls and tears men to pieces around you.

Amberle knocks you to the ground. Her arm is firm around you, clutching you to her, protecting you, despite all the times you’ve held knives to each other’s throats.

You can’t think of anyone else in this camp who would have done the same for you.

 

 

4.

She saved your life when the demon came, but she lets them throw you in a cell when you sneak into the palace. 

You don’t belong here, in these shiny, hallowed halls. You should have known they’d spot you for a pretender.

But you didn’t try to kill her. Not today.

Amberle’s in danger, because whoever tried to kill her wasn’t you, and they’re still out there. You scream yourself hoarse trying to make them believe you. 

You don’t want to die in this gleaming Elvin prison, accused of false crimes, but you don’t want her to die either.

 

 

5.

There’s a quest.

Amberle tells you that you were in her vision, even though she says it with a sneer on her face, like she’d rather anyone else. 

Wil looks the same, and you’re tempted to snarl at him to grow up, to get over the fact he had something you needed and you took it from him. It’s not your fault he’s so susceptible to your mouth on his, wants to believe every pretty face he sees.

You don’t bother, because this is your ticket out of here (even if they make you walk in chains, even if you’re only swapping one prison for another).

Amberle is the Chosen One and she tells you that you are chosen too. 

You don’t believe her, but a small part of you wants to.

 

 

6.

“Afraid you’ll like it?”

Taunting Amberle comes easily, and so does slipping closer to her through the water. The quest has brought you to a mountain fortress, to a secluded bathing chamber, to a pool of water with a very naked princess just out of reach.

You want to throw her off, but your heart is beating too fast for a simple trick. You _want_ her, because she’s a princess and an elf and everything you should hate, but she also saved you and she saw you in her dream. 

You want that to mean something. You want to be chosen too, and you want to have a destiny, something more than what you were born to.

You want to kiss a princess in a bathing pool and you want to run the tips of your fingers over her pointed ears and through her wet hair.

Amberle juts her chin out, but you don’t miss how her gaze also flits over you.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” she says, and pushes herself off the wall behind her, suddenly so very right in front of you that you don’t know what to do with her and your breath catches—

She places her wet hands on your shoulders, and her eyes are a little unsure, like she might not be as cocky as she tried to sound. 

You kiss her, and she tastes like something holy.

 

 

7.

The mountain keeper turns out to be a creep and a torturer, and everyone should have seen that coming, but the only thing that matters now is that he has Amberle and you have to get to her.

You burst into the room and Wil is kissing Amberle and everything stops.

You can’t blame him. She’s a princess, she’s the Chosen One, and you’ve felt her impossible draw yourself. But you wanted to be the one to save her, so badly. 

There must be a reason you’re on this quest with them. You thought this might be it – protecting her – but now you need a new reason, because clearly Wil can take care of that just fine.

“Let’s go,” you spit out, try to ignore the sickness in your stomach and the sinking in your heart. 

The demon followed you here and there’s only time to run.

It’s snowing heavily when you burst outside, and you don’t hesitate to swing across the chasm with Cephalo. You don’t realize your mistake til you reach the other side and his plan to abandon Amberle and Wil becomes clear.

“Eretria!” 

Amberle is screaming for you. Moments ago she was kissing Wil, but there was another moment before that when she was kissing you and you wanted her so strongly it made your heart seize up with fright.

Cephalo must see your torn expression. “He’ll never choose you,” he cautions, and you don’t correct him.

You go back to them. Back to your friends, back to your quest, back to _her._

 

 

8.

She accuses you of caring about her when you’re trapped in a dark ruin underground, a relic of the old world that’s been preserved for thousands of years.

Your heart pounds, loud in the silence.

It should be easy to deny it, but when you do the lie sounds obvious, and Amberle is staring at you with soft eyes and the words just slip out—

“Fine. I care about you.”

She looks surprised. Before you said it, she looked like she didn’t believe the lie, but she's still surprised when you actually speak the truth.

She comes closer to you. Her footsteps echo in this hollow, haunted place.

“I care about you too, Eretria.” Her voice is thick and quiet and she lifts her uninjured arm, brushes your hair off your face. Her fingers are cool on your skin and you’re trembling from head to toe and you hate yourself for it. You don’t move away from her.

“We’ll find a way out of here, I promise,” Amberle says, and you believe her. You might believe anything she told you. 

You believe that she’s Chosen. You believe that you have a destiny on this quest that is tangled with hers. There’s not much more she could ask you to believe.

“But I’m glad you’re down here with me,” she says. “I wouldn’t want to be alone.”

She kisses you first this time. 

Amberle melts into you, and she is warm in this cold, dark place, and your fingers clutch her waist, and her hand curls around your neck, and you know that you will follow her anywhere.

 

 

9.

You make it to Safehold.

You are steps away from fulfilling the destiny you never knew you had until Amberle told you that she saw you in her dream and it meant you had to help her save the world.

Her fingers squeeze yours tightly as you dart through the tunnels with Wil. 

You lead them to the Bloodfire from a map under your own skin, and you bleed yourself out in the middle of the room when you realize it’s the only way.

Everything goes dark and then slowly returns. Wil is crouched over you and Amberle is nowhere to be found. 

Your entire body is shaking when you press your palm back down onto the spike, watch more blood flow out of you than you ever thought you could give.

When Amberle finally reappears, you want to collapse. You stagger away from all of your blood and her arms catch you.

You did it.

You served your purpose, you fulfilled your destiny, you played your role in this quest, and you saved the girl you lo—

You don’t let yourself think it. You just bury your face in Amberle’s hair and breathe in deeply and gratefully, and eventually you stop shaking.

 

 

10.

It has to be you.

You hear the echoes of the trolls coming closer and there’s no way to close the gate with all of you on the other side.

You thought you already played your part in this quest. You drained your own blood to do it, to save her. But she’s not safe yet, and Wil is the one with the stones that kill demons.

You don’t let yourself think twice.

Amberle is screaming at you when you throw yourself back under the gate, when you clamber to your feet and turn the wheel, send the gate crashing down to the floor and trap yourself on the wrong side.

Amberle is clutching the gate instead of running away to save the world, and you should tell her to go, to hurry, but you go to her instead.

You wrap your fingers around hers, around the bars between you, and you kiss her, and every part of you aches when you have to pull away.

“Go,” you tell her. “Save the world.”

There are three more words stuck in your throat but it’s not the time for them.

You try not to be frightened when they leave you.

You grip your dagger tight and try to be brave.

You will fight your way out of here just like you’ve fought your way out of worse, and you will follow them to Arborlon, and you will find Amberle when the world has been saved.

 

 

 

You don’t know, yet, how Amberle will save the world.

You don’t know, yet, that even when you make it out of here, you will never see her again.

 

 

 


End file.
